So it is now August 22 - 17 days past my dermatologist appointment with Dr. Adams at Hershey Medical. In the past 17 days I have been angry. I have laughed out loud at my doctor's stupidity. I have gone back and forth between wondering if he is right and eating differently is no cure and wondering if there is a possibility that I am just in some sort of "remission" time with my skin and that my diet is not effecting a change. In other words, I have been crazy. This leads to crazy decisions and crazy eating that is not based on any logical decision, just impulse. Impulse eating for anyone is not a good idea. Impulse eating for someone who really needs to watch the ingredients of the foods entering her body is not good at all.
First off, impulse eating leads to more impulse eating. It is a domino effect. Once you break down and eat something that you know does not help your health, the easier it is to eat the next thing that you crave... and believe me, you will crave once you eat that first item.
Second off, eating foods that you know are harmful to your body just to prove your doctor wrong is not a healthy thing either. Your doctor doesn't care. He's proven that already by his bedside manner and his ability to just "write off" your health.
Thirdly, it sucks when your skin is no longer clear and comfortable. You have to take extra time when you are getting dressed to cover your breakouts so that your clothes don't get stained by or stuck on the lesions. And it is horrendously painful to try to heal your body again when you could've just skipped all of the irregular foods and just eaten what you know is right.
My lesson here: nothing tastes as good as clean skin feels. I promise. Donuts, pizza and fast food breaded deep-fried chicken fingers and fries... all three of those items have shown up in my diet at least once each week during the past 17 days, sometimes all three on the same day! Not only is this bad for my skin - it's bad for health in general.
My last blog title was that Doctors Just Suck... well, so do patients that try to take their anger out on their own body! How silly is that? Please take the lesson from me... it is not something you want to try yourself!
So, Dr. Adams, I just want to say to you that you are doing all of your patients a big disservice by not even talking to them about the possibility of them changing their diet to help themselves. What harm can it do? You're not pushing a carcinogenic drug or another drug that can cause a multitude of other bodily misfunctions or death. You're pushing health in all directions. Educate yourself and educate your patients and you may see less of them!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Doctors Really Just Suck!
On Monday I went to the dermatologist to get my FMLA documentation updated. It's been a year and that document is only good for 1 year at a time (at least from my employer's point of view).
I was pretty darn excited about going and sharing my "wealth"! My skin is not clear (yet) - but parts of it are well more clear than they've ever been before. So I was very excited to go in and talk to my doctor about how my diet has been changing my skin for the better.
When I told the nurse of the situation she said she had goosebumps and that she was so happy for me. When the doctor came in she asked me about any current lesions - and of course, I do have the one on the right breast. I also have some "pimple-like" breakouts on both breasts and in my cleavage but those are barely of concern to me because they don't hurt or cause me to be off of work due to draining or pain. The current incidence isn't really something they could do anything about because it is an open deal and it is a crater-like site rather than a bumpy area.
The doctor was impressed with my skin being pretty clear and I told her of my diet and what foods I'm not eating ... and she was glad to hear that it was working for me.
When she came back into the room with the attending physician (resident? I don't know which is which, but the "big guy") she took a step back and allowed him to take the lead. Then, after examining me he stated that I was lucky because he's seen folks with this disease way worse off than I am. Yes, that's true. Even at my worst there are people out there that have this way worse than I did... but I told him that my skin was clearing up because of my diet. When I told him what I wasn't eating - processed foods, legumes, tomatoes (questionable), grains, and gluten - he looked at the other doctor and said "yes, the anti-inflammatory diet ... it has been researched and tried, not in derm, but for other applications and it sometimes helps. It doesn't cure but for some folks it does relieve the symptoms. It doesn't work for everyone."
Now, he didn't say this to me, he said it over me and was speaking directly to the other doctor as if I was a test subject that couldn't hear him or something like that. I nodded my head and though "duh, exactly what the prescribed drugs you have do for this disease... !"
He uninflated my sails that simply. I was so angry for him not even recognizing that this can and does work for anyone who really puts their minds and diet to it. I want it to work. I need it to work. There are no quick easy fix pills out there to make this just go away. I do not want to have surgery on top of surgery to get rid of this. I do not want to spend all my money on hibiclens and dressings to cover up the breakouts. I would like to be able to wear sleeveless shirts and bathing suits at some point in my life. I want to be able to lose weight and feel desirable... if those of us with HS lose weight we still don't feel desirable because of our skin. It is ugly and scary for most people out there who don't have it. I don't really blame those folks though... it is not pretty.
So, in all regards folks, don't listen to the stupid doctors in your life. If you're doing something that works for you, stick with it. Do it with all the power of your mind and know that it will work. Doctors and lab rats have to stick with what they know... and what they know is that the drug companies pay them a lot of money and give them lots of perks to push their drugs and to have folks dive in to their drug trials. DON'T RELY ON DRUGS TO SAVE YOU. Your doctor doesn't care if you get symptoms from something far worse than HS (and yes, there are things far worse than HS)... because if your doctor cared they wouldn't even suggest you subject yourself to the drug they're pushing.
Yes, they are drug pushers and that is all they are. Stop fighting your body. Start listening to your body and feed it the food that works for it. Feed it the nutrients that help it serve every inch of you and keep you healthy. Get away from the crap you've been eating and eat nutritious food. Just do it for 3 months and see how much of a difference it makes in your life.
Make a promise to yourself to do it. Don't try to do it. Don't look down the road and say "ah, my sister's boyfriend's kid is having a party on the 17th of next month so I'd better just wait"... do it now. Do it for you. No one else cares about you but you. You have to be the adult and do this for yourself or else you won't know the glory of limited breakout areas and healthy skin.
I promise. This will work for you.
I was pretty darn excited about going and sharing my "wealth"! My skin is not clear (yet) - but parts of it are well more clear than they've ever been before. So I was very excited to go in and talk to my doctor about how my diet has been changing my skin for the better.
When I told the nurse of the situation she said she had goosebumps and that she was so happy for me. When the doctor came in she asked me about any current lesions - and of course, I do have the one on the right breast. I also have some "pimple-like" breakouts on both breasts and in my cleavage but those are barely of concern to me because they don't hurt or cause me to be off of work due to draining or pain. The current incidence isn't really something they could do anything about because it is an open deal and it is a crater-like site rather than a bumpy area.
The doctor was impressed with my skin being pretty clear and I told her of my diet and what foods I'm not eating ... and she was glad to hear that it was working for me.
When she came back into the room with the attending physician (resident? I don't know which is which, but the "big guy") she took a step back and allowed him to take the lead. Then, after examining me he stated that I was lucky because he's seen folks with this disease way worse off than I am. Yes, that's true. Even at my worst there are people out there that have this way worse than I did... but I told him that my skin was clearing up because of my diet. When I told him what I wasn't eating - processed foods, legumes, tomatoes (questionable), grains, and gluten - he looked at the other doctor and said "yes, the anti-inflammatory diet ... it has been researched and tried, not in derm, but for other applications and it sometimes helps. It doesn't cure but for some folks it does relieve the symptoms. It doesn't work for everyone."
Now, he didn't say this to me, he said it over me and was speaking directly to the other doctor as if I was a test subject that couldn't hear him or something like that. I nodded my head and though "duh, exactly what the prescribed drugs you have do for this disease... !"
He uninflated my sails that simply. I was so angry for him not even recognizing that this can and does work for anyone who really puts their minds and diet to it. I want it to work. I need it to work. There are no quick easy fix pills out there to make this just go away. I do not want to have surgery on top of surgery to get rid of this. I do not want to spend all my money on hibiclens and dressings to cover up the breakouts. I would like to be able to wear sleeveless shirts and bathing suits at some point in my life. I want to be able to lose weight and feel desirable... if those of us with HS lose weight we still don't feel desirable because of our skin. It is ugly and scary for most people out there who don't have it. I don't really blame those folks though... it is not pretty.
So, in all regards folks, don't listen to the stupid doctors in your life. If you're doing something that works for you, stick with it. Do it with all the power of your mind and know that it will work. Doctors and lab rats have to stick with what they know... and what they know is that the drug companies pay them a lot of money and give them lots of perks to push their drugs and to have folks dive in to their drug trials. DON'T RELY ON DRUGS TO SAVE YOU. Your doctor doesn't care if you get symptoms from something far worse than HS (and yes, there are things far worse than HS)... because if your doctor cared they wouldn't even suggest you subject yourself to the drug they're pushing.
Yes, they are drug pushers and that is all they are. Stop fighting your body. Start listening to your body and feed it the food that works for it. Feed it the nutrients that help it serve every inch of you and keep you healthy. Get away from the crap you've been eating and eat nutritious food. Just do it for 3 months and see how much of a difference it makes in your life.
Make a promise to yourself to do it. Don't try to do it. Don't look down the road and say "ah, my sister's boyfriend's kid is having a party on the 17th of next month so I'd better just wait"... do it now. Do it for you. No one else cares about you but you. You have to be the adult and do this for yourself or else you won't know the glory of limited breakout areas and healthy skin.
I promise. This will work for you.
Monday, August 5, 2013
I'm the schizophrenic psycho
Yep... great song... and so very true for me with finding my trigger foods and keeping myself healthy.
I realized today that I just keep sabotaging myself - well, I didn't just realize that today... but I think I have figured out why today.
I want to be normal.
I know that certain foods, as yet to be fully determined, cause my skin to erupt in abnormal ways. I know that the longer I stay on my normal course of eating, which excludes gluten, grains, legumes, and tomatoes, not to mention processed foods, I will heal my skin and have fewer extreme eruptions. And this is NOT hard to do. After just a few weeks of eating a paleo (which is what I'm on) diet, excluding processed foods with more than about 3 ingredients (except for those I process myself!) and staying away from the sugary treats, the crazy needs and food cravings just whisked right away. I truly don't feel those needs anymore.
Then why you ask, did you eat ice cream today? And, pizza last week, as well as ice cream and Auntie Anne's pretzels...
I refer you back to the title of this posting... I'm the schizophrenic psycho.
I don't get the cravings in that same sense as I used to. I do want to be able to just chuck all the special diets - be able to know that if I'm invited to someone's house for dinner that I can eat anything that is placed in front of me without having to ask how it was prepared. I crave to be normal. I crave the ability to just pull something off the shelf and eat it without wondering what the consequences to my skin will be. But... in truth, it is not just about my skin anymore. The more I learn about the food industry and the way our food is "created", the more I am scared to eat anything that I don't know exactly where it came from and what it ate (or whether it had chemicals sprayed on it)!
But, back to the schizo part of this all. I believe that a large part of my sabotage has to do with the "what does it matter" attitude. This frame of mind is brought on in a couple of ways - the major way being after I have stepped outside of my "normal" diet and eaten something that I am avoiding due to the health of my skin. When I start to feel the breakout coming on (and, if you have this disease, you know exactly what I'm talking about! The itching or the actual pressure-point pain that some of these can elicit with the wrong move of your skin/body) my head starts to figure -- why shouldn't I take advantage of the fact that I've already got the eruptions boiling (pun intended) away and have something else I haven't had in a while. What could it hurt at this point? Yes, I think about the fact that I will have to go a few weeks more before I break away from the addiction that these foods elicit the moment you ingest them... and I think... "ah, what the hell. I might as well do it now rather than go another month on my regular diet and then 'allow' myself something because I didn't now and then it will be like wasted time." That's my reasoning. And it's pretty sound reasoning, if I do say so myself.
The second way the "what does it matter" attitude is brought on is through depression. The thought that no matter how long I continue on trying to locate the specific foods that trigger my Hidradenitis that I won't be fully healed... that I won't find someone out there who loves me for who I am (scars and all), that I won't lose the weight that I need to lose to feel comfortable in my body, that money issues will always be hovering over my head, that... anything that can bring on self-pity.....
I'm fighting the self-pity, depression "what does it matter" attitude as much as possible but the monster does get out sometimes... and that's why I had Auntie Anne's pretzels last week, which spurred the "what does it matter - I've already stepped outside my normal food regime" so I had pizza and ice cream! And again ice cream this week... because the breakout under my right breast is going to be an ugly, ugly thing (it already is) and the one brewing on the back of my left thigh is painful yet unseen at the moment.
I know that I have less trouble with this when eating Paleo. I know that gluten laden products and processed foods cause issues for my skin. And now I know that dairy (at least ice cream) gives me some unbelievable intestinal gas that just farts up a storm INSIDE MY BELLY! I hear it and feel it and then about 3 hours later it gets far enough through my system to expel the gas outside! Oh my! I do like ice cream... but not enough for the pain that comes with that gas that is stuck inside my system!
So what am I going to do now that I've realized why I do some of the things that I do? I'm going to try harder to whack that voice down when it pipes up asking for something that I know doesn't work for me. How am I going to deal with being invited to someone's house for dinner? Well, when I'm invited I will go and I will be a great guest and I will do what it takes to be satisified... which may mean eating dinner before I go so that I don't have to worry about being hungry with nothing that I can eat in front of me. But, for the most part, all of my friends know what I'm doing and they understand... so most likely I will be able to discuss the menu with them before I attend!
It is work, but I tell you, it is worth it... the pain that I am experiencing right now from the open wound under my right breast is less than I've had before... but it is more than I want to experience ever again.
Today I have an appointment with my dermatologist at Hershey Medical. I didn't make the appointment because I was breaking out (dermatologists are booked about 5 months in advance!) but because my FMLA documents needs to be updated. Every year I have to get these filled out for my work or else ... and I can't lose my job ... so it's off to Hershey I go to get checked out... have the doctor say, "yep, you have Hidradenitis Suppurativa. There's no cure. Get some hibiclens. Good luck." Yeah, just what I want to hear! Fortunately for me, it is just for the paperwork and then I'm back to eating for healthy skin!
I realized today that I just keep sabotaging myself - well, I didn't just realize that today... but I think I have figured out why today.
I want to be normal.
I know that certain foods, as yet to be fully determined, cause my skin to erupt in abnormal ways. I know that the longer I stay on my normal course of eating, which excludes gluten, grains, legumes, and tomatoes, not to mention processed foods, I will heal my skin and have fewer extreme eruptions. And this is NOT hard to do. After just a few weeks of eating a paleo (which is what I'm on) diet, excluding processed foods with more than about 3 ingredients (except for those I process myself!) and staying away from the sugary treats, the crazy needs and food cravings just whisked right away. I truly don't feel those needs anymore.
Then why you ask, did you eat ice cream today? And, pizza last week, as well as ice cream and Auntie Anne's pretzels...
I refer you back to the title of this posting... I'm the schizophrenic psycho.
I don't get the cravings in that same sense as I used to. I do want to be able to just chuck all the special diets - be able to know that if I'm invited to someone's house for dinner that I can eat anything that is placed in front of me without having to ask how it was prepared. I crave to be normal. I crave the ability to just pull something off the shelf and eat it without wondering what the consequences to my skin will be. But... in truth, it is not just about my skin anymore. The more I learn about the food industry and the way our food is "created", the more I am scared to eat anything that I don't know exactly where it came from and what it ate (or whether it had chemicals sprayed on it)!
But, back to the schizo part of this all. I believe that a large part of my sabotage has to do with the "what does it matter" attitude. This frame of mind is brought on in a couple of ways - the major way being after I have stepped outside of my "normal" diet and eaten something that I am avoiding due to the health of my skin. When I start to feel the breakout coming on (and, if you have this disease, you know exactly what I'm talking about! The itching or the actual pressure-point pain that some of these can elicit with the wrong move of your skin/body) my head starts to figure -- why shouldn't I take advantage of the fact that I've already got the eruptions boiling (pun intended) away and have something else I haven't had in a while. What could it hurt at this point? Yes, I think about the fact that I will have to go a few weeks more before I break away from the addiction that these foods elicit the moment you ingest them... and I think... "ah, what the hell. I might as well do it now rather than go another month on my regular diet and then 'allow' myself something because I didn't now and then it will be like wasted time." That's my reasoning. And it's pretty sound reasoning, if I do say so myself.
The second way the "what does it matter" attitude is brought on is through depression. The thought that no matter how long I continue on trying to locate the specific foods that trigger my Hidradenitis that I won't be fully healed... that I won't find someone out there who loves me for who I am (scars and all), that I won't lose the weight that I need to lose to feel comfortable in my body, that money issues will always be hovering over my head, that... anything that can bring on self-pity.....
I'm fighting the self-pity, depression "what does it matter" attitude as much as possible but the monster does get out sometimes... and that's why I had Auntie Anne's pretzels last week, which spurred the "what does it matter - I've already stepped outside my normal food regime" so I had pizza and ice cream! And again ice cream this week... because the breakout under my right breast is going to be an ugly, ugly thing (it already is) and the one brewing on the back of my left thigh is painful yet unseen at the moment.
I know that I have less trouble with this when eating Paleo. I know that gluten laden products and processed foods cause issues for my skin. And now I know that dairy (at least ice cream) gives me some unbelievable intestinal gas that just farts up a storm INSIDE MY BELLY! I hear it and feel it and then about 3 hours later it gets far enough through my system to expel the gas outside! Oh my! I do like ice cream... but not enough for the pain that comes with that gas that is stuck inside my system!
So what am I going to do now that I've realized why I do some of the things that I do? I'm going to try harder to whack that voice down when it pipes up asking for something that I know doesn't work for me. How am I going to deal with being invited to someone's house for dinner? Well, when I'm invited I will go and I will be a great guest and I will do what it takes to be satisified... which may mean eating dinner before I go so that I don't have to worry about being hungry with nothing that I can eat in front of me. But, for the most part, all of my friends know what I'm doing and they understand... so most likely I will be able to discuss the menu with them before I attend!
It is work, but I tell you, it is worth it... the pain that I am experiencing right now from the open wound under my right breast is less than I've had before... but it is more than I want to experience ever again.
Today I have an appointment with my dermatologist at Hershey Medical. I didn't make the appointment because I was breaking out (dermatologists are booked about 5 months in advance!) but because my FMLA documents needs to be updated. Every year I have to get these filled out for my work or else ... and I can't lose my job ... so it's off to Hershey I go to get checked out... have the doctor say, "yep, you have Hidradenitis Suppurativa. There's no cure. Get some hibiclens. Good luck." Yeah, just what I want to hear! Fortunately for me, it is just for the paperwork and then I'm back to eating for healthy skin!
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Auntie Anne's, Pizza & Chocolate!
Based on the title of this post you may think that this weekend was a bust for my Paleo diet and for my Whole30... and - you'd be right!
Friday night when I got home from work I was, for some reason, food-needy. I wasn't particularly hungry but I was picking. I really didn't have anything in the house... I ended up eating half a box of raisins and half a bag of Enjoy Life Mini Chocolate chips. That was the sugar I was craving... but then I still had a "need" for something else. I really wanted pizza... but my experience with pizza in South Central PA has not be great. Really, when Pizza Hut is better pizza than most of the pizzerias in the area, you know you have a problem!
So I decided I'd head to the health food store instead of trying to sate my need. I somehow ended up talking myself out of the drive at rush hour (5pm) and went instead to WalMart! I got some sweet potatoes and cage free eggs and bananas. Big trip for WalMart, I know! But it also served as a car trip for my sweet doggie, Sadie. She loves to go in the car and since she was waiting in the car I didn't want to spend an hour in WalMart trying to see if they actually had anything healthy for me!
But... right at the end of the cash register was my next fail! Auntie Anne's Pretzels... I walked out of there with a cup of cinnamon sugar sticks and ate every one of them!
You'd think that I'd then be done with sabotaging myself... and you'd be wrong! On Saturday when I got up I intended things to be different for the day... but I still had that hankering for pizza. I hate having that need because of the aforementioned icky pizza in PA. If I'm going to go outside of my normal foods - the foods that are helping me to heal my body - then I want it to be damn good... not just good, but DAMN! good!
I was picking in the house all day - besides 4 eggs and pork sausage for breakfast, I had a whole avocado, I had a mango, I ate all 4 of the bananas I had bought between Friday night and Saturday afternoon (this is why I stopped buying bananas!), I had a turkey burger and I was even tempted to make a boxed mix of something that I happened to find in my cupboard just because it was sweet and I knew it would be satisfying... well, I believed it would be satisfying. Fortunately I was able to talk myself out of that nastiness! I should throw it away, but I hold on to it just in case I need to make something to take somewhere that non-Paleo folks will be eating. I did manage to make a cocoa pudding with coconut milk and raw cacao and a little honey... yup, fail on the sugar again!
I decided to take a drive - again to get away from the temptation of bad stuff and to take the dog for a drive! I went to a farm stand that I visit often... and I told the woman who runs it about my "need"... she suggested I just get a couple of slices - you see, I had shared my reasoning that if I order a pizza, I will eat the whole thing - if not for dinner the one night, but I would save it for the next day and a trespass on my diet is one thing for one day, but to carry it through to another day is just not acceptable! I contemplated a couple of slices... and I really didn't want Domino's or Pizza Hut! Ick! I contemplated Taco Bell as well! Boy do I love Taco Bell! But beans are so very very destructive to my skin. I just couldn't do that to myself. Tomatoes and dairy? Well, tomatoes I believe are a factor, not fully vetted. Dairy, I'm still checking this month... wheat... yeah, I believe so but not even proved like beans have been!
I did remember a pizzeria that I had seen tucked in and sort of hiding out of site in the next town over, Emigsville. Mamma's Pizza. Thank you Mamma's! I got 2 slices of pepperoni pizza and it was wonderful! They were HUGE slices and I probably could've gotten away with just one, but they were both excellent!
Now, you're probably thinking that I was so full after my pizza and satisified as well, that I couldn't want for more? Wrong. Later in the night, about 8:00pm or so, I got a hankering again... for something that I just couldn't pin my tastebuds on... so, the only thing I had that was healthy to make was coconut oil chocolate. So that's what I did... but I added brown rice syrup to it and so I failed on sugar again! I only had a taste of it before going to bed on Saturday night because I wanted it to harden a bit. I put it in the freezer so that I could just take a little every now and again - which is what I normally do with this treat... this morning, as soon as I got up I broke off a piece of that baby... and it was SO good! I ended up breaking it in half and eating a whole half of this chocolate! This was round the size of a salad plate! Now I feel sick. That was too much sweet and cacao and coconut oil!
Why is it that it takes me until I'm sick or stuffed or disgusted to break free of a frenzy? I don't know but I'm working on this. I am only human. I will not feel guilty nor hate myself for this failure. That only brings more stress which causes outbreak just as easily as if I had eaten a couple of bowls of bean soup!
What have I learned from this? The bottom line is that I am human. Food is tempting and there are times that I will be tempted and follow through. I cannot berate myself, or others, for liking the taste of certain foods. Our tastebuds and our upbringing have forged our wants and needs. It may take forever to change my eating 100% - and it still may not be perfect.
Now - let's see if a breakout is coming! I was already seeing a recurring lump in a highly private spot... and one under my left breast and at my underwear line - which, I have to say, was a determining factor with following through on my "needs"... if I had be free and clear, I would have had more determination to stay free of the foods that exacerbate this condition... knowing I had at least one BIG baby coming out and a couple of others as well... well, that sort of gave me license to break out of "good" eating habits... but, I'm my own boss... I can do what I want... I'm the one to pay the consequences and I'm the one to reap the benefits... I'm happy I had the pizza - it broke me out of the need to have pizza for a long time to come now!
Friday night when I got home from work I was, for some reason, food-needy. I wasn't particularly hungry but I was picking. I really didn't have anything in the house... I ended up eating half a box of raisins and half a bag of Enjoy Life Mini Chocolate chips. That was the sugar I was craving... but then I still had a "need" for something else. I really wanted pizza... but my experience with pizza in South Central PA has not be great. Really, when Pizza Hut is better pizza than most of the pizzerias in the area, you know you have a problem!
So I decided I'd head to the health food store instead of trying to sate my need. I somehow ended up talking myself out of the drive at rush hour (5pm) and went instead to WalMart! I got some sweet potatoes and cage free eggs and bananas. Big trip for WalMart, I know! But it also served as a car trip for my sweet doggie, Sadie. She loves to go in the car and since she was waiting in the car I didn't want to spend an hour in WalMart trying to see if they actually had anything healthy for me!
But... right at the end of the cash register was my next fail! Auntie Anne's Pretzels... I walked out of there with a cup of cinnamon sugar sticks and ate every one of them!
You'd think that I'd then be done with sabotaging myself... and you'd be wrong! On Saturday when I got up I intended things to be different for the day... but I still had that hankering for pizza. I hate having that need because of the aforementioned icky pizza in PA. If I'm going to go outside of my normal foods - the foods that are helping me to heal my body - then I want it to be damn good... not just good, but DAMN! good!
I was picking in the house all day - besides 4 eggs and pork sausage for breakfast, I had a whole avocado, I had a mango, I ate all 4 of the bananas I had bought between Friday night and Saturday afternoon (this is why I stopped buying bananas!), I had a turkey burger and I was even tempted to make a boxed mix of something that I happened to find in my cupboard just because it was sweet and I knew it would be satisfying... well, I believed it would be satisfying. Fortunately I was able to talk myself out of that nastiness! I should throw it away, but I hold on to it just in case I need to make something to take somewhere that non-Paleo folks will be eating. I did manage to make a cocoa pudding with coconut milk and raw cacao and a little honey... yup, fail on the sugar again!
I decided to take a drive - again to get away from the temptation of bad stuff and to take the dog for a drive! I went to a farm stand that I visit often... and I told the woman who runs it about my "need"... she suggested I just get a couple of slices - you see, I had shared my reasoning that if I order a pizza, I will eat the whole thing - if not for dinner the one night, but I would save it for the next day and a trespass on my diet is one thing for one day, but to carry it through to another day is just not acceptable! I contemplated a couple of slices... and I really didn't want Domino's or Pizza Hut! Ick! I contemplated Taco Bell as well! Boy do I love Taco Bell! But beans are so very very destructive to my skin. I just couldn't do that to myself. Tomatoes and dairy? Well, tomatoes I believe are a factor, not fully vetted. Dairy, I'm still checking this month... wheat... yeah, I believe so but not even proved like beans have been!
I did remember a pizzeria that I had seen tucked in and sort of hiding out of site in the next town over, Emigsville. Mamma's Pizza. Thank you Mamma's! I got 2 slices of pepperoni pizza and it was wonderful! They were HUGE slices and I probably could've gotten away with just one, but they were both excellent!
Now, you're probably thinking that I was so full after my pizza and satisified as well, that I couldn't want for more? Wrong. Later in the night, about 8:00pm or so, I got a hankering again... for something that I just couldn't pin my tastebuds on... so, the only thing I had that was healthy to make was coconut oil chocolate. So that's what I did... but I added brown rice syrup to it and so I failed on sugar again! I only had a taste of it before going to bed on Saturday night because I wanted it to harden a bit. I put it in the freezer so that I could just take a little every now and again - which is what I normally do with this treat... this morning, as soon as I got up I broke off a piece of that baby... and it was SO good! I ended up breaking it in half and eating a whole half of this chocolate! This was round the size of a salad plate! Now I feel sick. That was too much sweet and cacao and coconut oil!
Why is it that it takes me until I'm sick or stuffed or disgusted to break free of a frenzy? I don't know but I'm working on this. I am only human. I will not feel guilty nor hate myself for this failure. That only brings more stress which causes outbreak just as easily as if I had eaten a couple of bowls of bean soup!
What have I learned from this? The bottom line is that I am human. Food is tempting and there are times that I will be tempted and follow through. I cannot berate myself, or others, for liking the taste of certain foods. Our tastebuds and our upbringing have forged our wants and needs. It may take forever to change my eating 100% - and it still may not be perfect.
Now - let's see if a breakout is coming! I was already seeing a recurring lump in a highly private spot... and one under my left breast and at my underwear line - which, I have to say, was a determining factor with following through on my "needs"... if I had be free and clear, I would have had more determination to stay free of the foods that exacerbate this condition... knowing I had at least one BIG baby coming out and a couple of others as well... well, that sort of gave me license to break out of "good" eating habits... but, I'm my own boss... I can do what I want... I'm the one to pay the consequences and I'm the one to reap the benefits... I'm happy I had the pizza - it broke me out of the need to have pizza for a long time to come now!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Following the Whole30
Today starts day 7 of my Whole30. I believe you can get all the information you need from the website, but I love their book It Starts With Food. I've mentioned it before and I think it is worth a read even if, at the end, you don't think you can do it for 30 days (although, anyone can do anything for a set period of time). Just think about it - if you set your mind to something for 30 days, how hard can it really be? If you say, "ugh, I have to do this forever", well, that's a whole other story. Forever is a long time and there's no end in sight... but when you say "this period of time" (whatever that is), you will know that there is an end in sight and the finish line is what you strive for... to make yourself a better, stronger person. That's how I do it. I take my 30 days as a challenge to make myself stronger. I know that I can give up certain things for a "short period" of time. Thirty days in the grand scheme of things... n o t h i n g! I've had this disease for 30 YEARS! I got this!
But, what I want to say here is I'm doing a happy dance! Truly. This morning I was shaving my legs... and girls, I know you know, shaving just past the knee, to about halfway up the thigh, is about all we can do. First of all, shaving over open sores is not a smart thing to do, but also, shaving over the scars and the pock marks and the "funny" skin isn't an easy task either...
I shaved all the way up to my underwear line!!
I won't say that just following the Whole30 did this for me, because I don't know. I've also been taking the CoQ10 every day as noted in a previous post and I've been massaging Alba Botanica Hawaiian Cocoa Butter Hand & Body Lotion onto the affected areas every night before bed. I've also been using African Black soap for 6 months, but that wouldn't have anything to do with this "success" right now... unless, of course, it is all related. One other thing that is different for these 7 days - although I've stated before that the nightshades test from last year didn't prove them to be complicit, I haven't had any nightshades. That's not by design - it has been completely by accident. My favorite spices are Mexican chili spices and I cook ahead. I have chicken thighs and legs that are already covered in Chili and Hot Mexican Chili and Frank's Hot Sauce and any other chili pepper spice that I might have in the house. My luck this week is that as I grab a frozen thigh or legs package from the freezer that the mix is upset and I've only been grabbing turmeric coated lunch"ables". The upcoming week probably won't be the same because I think I have more chili spiced chicken than turmeric spiced left in the freezer!
The take away from this is that how hard is it to change your eating habits for 30 days? This is not a blatant advertisement for the Whole30 folks - they will not make a penny if you are able to gather all the necessary information from their website. They will make some money if you buy the book, either in Kindle format or in hardcover, becaue they wrote it. If you can borrow it from your library, great for you! I bought it in Kindle format and I love it. I'm reading it for the second time right now. I just say this because I think it is a fantastic way to eliminate those things that could be causing issues for you and then learning how to slowly add those back into your diet so that you can be the judge as to how it affects your body.
If there is anyone that needs anything clarified about the Whole30, definitely ask, I'll do my best to help you. If you are working from the website only and you want to know the why behind some of it, again, I'll find it in the book for you if I can!
I hope week 2 of the Whole30 proves to be as wonderful for my skin as week 1 was!
But, what I want to say here is I'm doing a happy dance! Truly. This morning I was shaving my legs... and girls, I know you know, shaving just past the knee, to about halfway up the thigh, is about all we can do. First of all, shaving over open sores is not a smart thing to do, but also, shaving over the scars and the pock marks and the "funny" skin isn't an easy task either...
I shaved all the way up to my underwear line!!
I won't say that just following the Whole30 did this for me, because I don't know. I've also been taking the CoQ10 every day as noted in a previous post and I've been massaging Alba Botanica Hawaiian Cocoa Butter Hand & Body Lotion onto the affected areas every night before bed. I've also been using African Black soap for 6 months, but that wouldn't have anything to do with this "success" right now... unless, of course, it is all related. One other thing that is different for these 7 days - although I've stated before that the nightshades test from last year didn't prove them to be complicit, I haven't had any nightshades. That's not by design - it has been completely by accident. My favorite spices are Mexican chili spices and I cook ahead. I have chicken thighs and legs that are already covered in Chili and Hot Mexican Chili and Frank's Hot Sauce and any other chili pepper spice that I might have in the house. My luck this week is that as I grab a frozen thigh or legs package from the freezer that the mix is upset and I've only been grabbing turmeric coated lunch"ables". The upcoming week probably won't be the same because I think I have more chili spiced chicken than turmeric spiced left in the freezer!
The take away from this is that how hard is it to change your eating habits for 30 days? This is not a blatant advertisement for the Whole30 folks - they will not make a penny if you are able to gather all the necessary information from their website. They will make some money if you buy the book, either in Kindle format or in hardcover, becaue they wrote it. If you can borrow it from your library, great for you! I bought it in Kindle format and I love it. I'm reading it for the second time right now. I just say this because I think it is a fantastic way to eliminate those things that could be causing issues for you and then learning how to slowly add those back into your diet so that you can be the judge as to how it affects your body.
If there is anyone that needs anything clarified about the Whole30, definitely ask, I'll do my best to help you. If you are working from the website only and you want to know the why behind some of it, again, I'll find it in the book for you if I can!
I hope week 2 of the Whole30 proves to be as wonderful for my skin as week 1 was!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Grass-fed Beef
I just got home from my first visit to my local beef farm.
I got to pet a 2 week old calf!
I also got to walk in the grassed pasture... and boy can cows poop! Land mines all over the place.
I was also followed by an emu and a dog and some cats and some chickens and a rooster! The emu was following me around in the pasture... stuck to me like glue! The cats and chickens were not in the pasture but they sure were hanging around outside! One of the two dogs did go in the pasture with us but he was just checking out the bulls and cows.
It was a nice place. The folks that live there were straight forward. Told me that they hadn't worked up a price for this year yet but because they give first preference to their customers from previous years I might be on a wait list. Understood.
It is nice to get to know the people who are raising your food. I wanted to make sure that the cows were happy, well-cared for, and had plenty of room to roam. All of this was a check in my book!
I now have to find someone local who wants to split a quarter with me. I really don't think, as a single person, that I can take a full quarter myself. Too much meat. I have some friends... even if I have to get 3 more of them involved because no one wants to split it halfsies... I'll get it done!
I'm so tired of paying $11.00 a pound for grass-fed steak from another country. Buy local, pay less. Do your homework and you'll get yourself involved with the right farm.
Now I just hope that beef is not a flare producer for me. Like I said in my last post, I've never considered meat as a probable cause so I've never paid attention to what meat I may have eaten when I do flare up. I eat mostly chicken... so you'd think that I could tell... but you'd be wrong. It could be anything... could be the spices I use on my chicken or on the steak... you never know... and that's what this whole journey is about.
Tomorrow I start a Whole30. I'm going the full Whole30 this time... no dairy! For me that means cutting out Greek yogurt and cream in coffee. That's okay. I cut out coffee a while ago and only recently started drinking it again (last week)... I'm fine with tea. Tea I can drink black... no sugar no cream. But the yogurt... well, that's where I get most of my fruit and flax. I normally get Fage 2% plain Greek yogurt, put honey and ground flax seed on it and then add fruit too. Yum! That's such a nice snack or breakfast on the go. I will not lament dairy. I will be strong and know that I am doing what I must do to rule dairy out so that I can continue to enjoy my Greek yogurt a few times a week!
I'm a week or so into the CoQ10 supplementation. No change in the HS at this point. A cluster on my left jawline did "deflate" a bit, but I've grown a new single, larger, breakout on my right jawline... so that's a draw. Most of my other areas are stage 1 to stage 2 right now... nothing huge... but that's not "better"... that's just everyday life with HS for me. Of course, I do have two that are new as of this weekend. They prevented me from going to a birthday party yesterday... I couldn't sit down... and they are still affecting me. I sometimes don't understand how the pain can be so excruciating!
I got to pet a 2 week old calf!
I also got to walk in the grassed pasture... and boy can cows poop! Land mines all over the place.
I was also followed by an emu and a dog and some cats and some chickens and a rooster! The emu was following me around in the pasture... stuck to me like glue! The cats and chickens were not in the pasture but they sure were hanging around outside! One of the two dogs did go in the pasture with us but he was just checking out the bulls and cows.
It was a nice place. The folks that live there were straight forward. Told me that they hadn't worked up a price for this year yet but because they give first preference to their customers from previous years I might be on a wait list. Understood.
It is nice to get to know the people who are raising your food. I wanted to make sure that the cows were happy, well-cared for, and had plenty of room to roam. All of this was a check in my book!
I now have to find someone local who wants to split a quarter with me. I really don't think, as a single person, that I can take a full quarter myself. Too much meat. I have some friends... even if I have to get 3 more of them involved because no one wants to split it halfsies... I'll get it done!
I'm so tired of paying $11.00 a pound for grass-fed steak from another country. Buy local, pay less. Do your homework and you'll get yourself involved with the right farm.
Now I just hope that beef is not a flare producer for me. Like I said in my last post, I've never considered meat as a probable cause so I've never paid attention to what meat I may have eaten when I do flare up. I eat mostly chicken... so you'd think that I could tell... but you'd be wrong. It could be anything... could be the spices I use on my chicken or on the steak... you never know... and that's what this whole journey is about.
Tomorrow I start a Whole30. I'm going the full Whole30 this time... no dairy! For me that means cutting out Greek yogurt and cream in coffee. That's okay. I cut out coffee a while ago and only recently started drinking it again (last week)... I'm fine with tea. Tea I can drink black... no sugar no cream. But the yogurt... well, that's where I get most of my fruit and flax. I normally get Fage 2% plain Greek yogurt, put honey and ground flax seed on it and then add fruit too. Yum! That's such a nice snack or breakfast on the go. I will not lament dairy. I will be strong and know that I am doing what I must do to rule dairy out so that I can continue to enjoy my Greek yogurt a few times a week!
I'm a week or so into the CoQ10 supplementation. No change in the HS at this point. A cluster on my left jawline did "deflate" a bit, but I've grown a new single, larger, breakout on my right jawline... so that's a draw. Most of my other areas are stage 1 to stage 2 right now... nothing huge... but that's not "better"... that's just everyday life with HS for me. Of course, I do have two that are new as of this weekend. They prevented me from going to a birthday party yesterday... I couldn't sit down... and they are still affecting me. I sometimes don't understand how the pain can be so excruciating!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
What COULD be the culprit?
I found out this week that I still do not have an open mind when it comes to what could be the culprit for breakouts with HS. The answer, of course, is ANY thing.
Yep. Anything.
I was reading a blog post from someone I follow on Facebook and she mentioned that beef seems to lead to breakouts for her and she wanted to test with grass-fed to see if there was a difference.
BEEF? Really? I was dumbfounded. Seems I just have not put enough concentration into truly eliminating certain foods... getting myself to a control point and then adding them back in. But I don't think I would ever have eliminated a meat. My reasoning is that meats are not known Leaky Gut causative reactants. But the honest truth of the matter is that ANY food can be a disruption in your system... but more likely a food that is not a Leaky Gut reactant may just exacerbate an already poor digestive system and cause a breakout or the food you are eating could be marinated in something or dredged in something that IS known as a reactant.
Clean eating. Using a proven method to eliminate the most likely foods and then reintroduce those foods to your body while charting the results is the only way to know.
This method works for many illnesses and body conditions, not just Hidradenitis. If you're suffering from any ailment and you think (I know) that food could be the culprit and the cure, find the elimination program that you feel most comfortable with (I used Whole30) and ...
Let's get eating!
Yep. Anything.
I was reading a blog post from someone I follow on Facebook and she mentioned that beef seems to lead to breakouts for her and she wanted to test with grass-fed to see if there was a difference.
BEEF? Really? I was dumbfounded. Seems I just have not put enough concentration into truly eliminating certain foods... getting myself to a control point and then adding them back in. But I don't think I would ever have eliminated a meat. My reasoning is that meats are not known Leaky Gut causative reactants. But the honest truth of the matter is that ANY food can be a disruption in your system... but more likely a food that is not a Leaky Gut reactant may just exacerbate an already poor digestive system and cause a breakout or the food you are eating could be marinated in something or dredged in something that IS known as a reactant.
Clean eating. Using a proven method to eliminate the most likely foods and then reintroduce those foods to your body while charting the results is the only way to know.
This method works for many illnesses and body conditions, not just Hidradenitis. If you're suffering from any ailment and you think (I know) that food could be the culprit and the cure, find the elimination program that you feel most comfortable with (I used Whole30) and ...
Let's get eating!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)