I have to admit that I am very proud of myself right now. I recently vowed to follow my Paleo/Primal diet for at least 6 months before I start adding or removing more foods to see what might truly be my trigger. Who knows, maybe I can have a bean every now and again? Certainly not me since I haven't really had any true sense of what does and doesn't work for me.
This last week we had "food day" at my work. I made a Pumpkin Cheesecake for the group because I was going to participate in the rest of the food (tacos). So I figured even though it had sugar in it that I would still have a piece of the cheesecake, just skip the crust. Instead of the normal graham cracker crust I used store bought gingersnaps and crumbled those... Everyone raved and raved about how good the cheesecake was, especially with that crust. I barely even ate one bite of the cheesecake and while I was preparing the crust, I DID NOT feed myself any of those cookies. I LOVE gingersnaps... but I know me, I have one and I tumble ... and I just don't take a small spill, I fall down the mountain, get up again and throw myself down as soon as I hit the top. Not this time.
I am determined to have no "slip ups", no "oh, well, just one"s, no "it's Christmas, enjoy yourself"s, NO.
This is my skin. My health. My life. I don't care (not true) about my waistline... I care about getting my skin healthy.
I want to feel free to approach a man that I am interested in without feeling like I have to give him a doctor's note to prove that my skin condition is not something he can get. I want to feel like I'm not dragging someone into a situation that they're not prepared for... even if they do end up caring for me enough to stay (for a while). I don't like having to feel like this. I don't want a guy to run away from me when we have sex or he sees me naked with the lights on... I don't like the picture myself, how can I really expect a man to not feel like he was trapped into this?
My weight, on the other hand, is something a man can see upfront and if he doesn't want to date me because I am too "big" for him... then that's that... but I can't go around telling guys I have a skin disease that will freak them out before we even get started... because that will just freak them out and scare them off.
But, I am able to say I'm Proud of Me. That's a step in the right direction and I'll get there eventually.
